Let's just admit it.

The word underpants will never not be funny.

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SERPENT REPENTS

Let's just admit it.

Winnie the Pooh was poor at spelling, but compared to other wild bears he was almost a genius.

A word that's wrong.

If you defeat someone, it means that you are the winner. But if something was a defeat for you, like if you say, "In my life there have been many defeats," it means losses, instead of wins, and that is wrong.

The person who designed this word was trying to keep English-speaking people on their toes, the way that your literature teacher puts the question "What did David Copperfield do for a living" on the test just to trick anyone who did not read the book into answering magician.

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PEELS SLEEP*

* Palindrome alert y'all.

U Decide 2007

Should these things be called chick peas or garbanzo beans? Garbanzo is a fun word to say, but chick peas seems more respectful.

More facts to consider.

• Is it a pea or is it a bean? It is a legume, so it's kind of both and neither at the same time.

• "Chick pea" is of Latin origin and "garbanzo" is of Spanish origin. Yet ironically most of these things are consumed in a vegetarian eatery outside Berkeley, California.

So which will it be? U must decide.

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PALEST PLATES

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PHAT PATH

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ABLE BALE

Do not say these things.

Phrases that must not be said by you or the people you love:

• 'Nuff said.


• The ass-crack of dawn.


• What happens in (wherever) stays in (wherever).


• The horizontal tango.


• Single and ready to mingle.

Additionally:

• You should not refer to Jack Daniels by its first name or insinuate that it is your good friend Jack.


• You should not refer to yourself in the 3rd person, especially if you are being ironic about it.


• You should not correct someone for misusing the word "literally" if they seem like a nice person.

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IRON NOIR

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TACO COAT

Grammar: pick your fights, please

If you are good at grammar, and you notice some bad grammar, there are two different things you can do about it:

1. Say something.
2. Don't say anything.

If you fall into the first camp, you are either 17 and think you are cool because you know what an infinitive is while the guy in your teacher-imposed study group does not, or you are just someone who doesn't know how to pick your fights. I'm sorry! Those are the only possibilities.

Why don't you just not say anything? Don't you know that the rule about splitting infinitives is antiquated. And sometimes bad grammar is better than good grammar at letting readers know how you really feel. Did you ever think about that?

You should think about doing a run-on sentence once, or adding exclamation marks where once there were none. It will probably free your mind.